posting for 31 jan to 4 feb today is feb 5 and its my rest day so nothing much special going on
31 jan
i am feeling very stupit with myself
well should i say angry with myself too
i blew it!
i fucking blew it
i manage to get an old friend of mine,nadine out
yah pretty sweet girl
one of the good girls that i know
if i am not wrong i known her since pri 4 but what i can reamember is that i known her from pri 5
and yes she change alot and while digging up my old stuff left in my drawer ,i found a very very old picture of me and her in a neo print when we were pri 5 (i started dateing back then!!!)
this is what happen from what i see
>here are what i did right within the 45mins
1)eye contacts
2)details,details,details and yes i work on that too
3)tease and picking up flaws on her and makeing it humor
4)dig info and found out more about her which also makes a good link
for another date for example what sports are you doing now? i love
doing badminton,swiming,blah blah blah>and yes i meation of inviteing her over for a game of badminton with
me at one of those sport clubs and she seems quiet ok about(finding common grounds)
not alot eh? now here is what i have made wrong within the 45mins and it was so bad that i feel like killing myself
1)i was too fucking serious that i forgot about relexing
2)i did change tone at times to make things fun but it wasnt enough!!!
3)the energy wasnt right and partly was me coz i wasnt feeling or showing excitment which somehow the excitment level drop which also means
4)i did not create chemistry and no chemistry means no love only friendship
5)i servay the cafe(2 days back) and have picked 2 spots but the
cafe was so pack that theres only 1 table left and i did not intend to sit there
6) i did play around but it wasnt enough!
7)i wasnt smiling enough!
8)there wasnt enough challange nor sparks
9)i did stumble on my words alittle on 3 occasion
10)there was alittle negertive topics (but not serious ones)
11)i was in control for the first 20-30mins but after that i lost
control sub-conuiously and got interviewed by her instead
i really cant think of anymore points that i MUST improve but it was >really screwed! up
iNEVER EVER want to walk into those wall ever AGAIN (on those mistakes i have made)
i also come to realise that i am like paris hilton back in beatty
things i have done in the past have really affected me
and every single thing that i do in school/outside will be known by everyone
but that not so dangerious
the worst part is that when information get pass down it somehow change which means that someone spread rumors about me doing something that i have never done it and that cause wrong informasion to go out and that very dangerous!
and as human we only talk spread about bad things and what about the good things? they got forgotten
and it leaks out to other school includeing my old friends like nadine herself which also affects the meet up
well in bmc i am reseting my whole lifestyle but i hate to admit it that some of my bmc friends have friends that i know of which is not very heality (its a small world) and past inform about me may get passed down from time to come
well am now learning from a friend of mine
sorry i cannot let u people know who is he as it may affect his good boy status
he taught me how to be a player while having a good boy image that many girls like him of(and of cause dun suspect him as a hunter too) and he still get to fuck many of them
MAX needs a new gf (he is single) and he needs a good one
damm i sounds so despo!
ok move on
feb 1-4
my new friends true image are starting to show
be it good or bad both are still great
ok well not really as some of the so called 'bengs' in my class are acting weird and getting alittle crazy too
they started to shout in public for no fucking reason
as for me when i am out with them i now tend to walk behind to so called get away and pretend i dun know them when they start acting weird
and yes my class have les too but for the gay part,that i dun know yet
ok workout update before i go off
i have finally increase my skipping from 625 (1250 jumps) to 725 (which is 1450 jumps)
yay cny is coming!!! ($.$)
=)
i need a new girlfriend T_T
see ya =)
